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Saturday, September 5th, 2009
7:06 pm - Going to Europe, BRB
Last call for post cards, deadline about noon on Sept 7. Comments screened for your address-commenting pleasure.

(4 butts | Sniff a butt)

Friday, August 7th, 2009
10:42 pm - Upcoming European travel plans
I gave my two-week notice yesterday. It was glorious.

I'll be flying from Boston to Zurich on September 7th, followed by a train ride to Prague. I'll be in Prague until about the 20th, where I'll train to Venice for a night or two, then fly out of Zurich on the 23rd. Any recommendations for places to see or things to do are welcome.

(1 butt | Sniff a butt)

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009
2:53 am - Laxi dives
Oh Yahoo Answers, you are the new AOL. Where would I be without your wisdom?

(Sniff a butt)

Saturday, July 11th, 2009
5:06 pm - Gay marriage in the Catholic Church
Theologian John Boswell wrote a book asserting that the Catholic church performed homosexual marriages in the middle ages. The synopsis is available here (scroll past the biography). An excerpt:
In 1215, hetero-gender marriage was officially declared a sacrament by the Western Catholic Church...In contrast, the homo-gender marriage service was from the beginning performed in a church, and was always thought of as sacramental. There is no evidence that there was ever a public form of the service. It always involved consent. The homo-gender service almost certainly pre-dates as a religious service any hetero-gender one.

From the book description on Amazon:
A main argument against homosexual unions has been that they are incapable of fulfilling all that constitutes "marriage", as dictated by a peculiar modern romantic cult of heterosexual love: monogamous erotic passion, procreation, housekeeping and friendship. However, what emerges from Boswell's examination of what the "conjugal alliance" has meant to different societies through the ages, is that male-female marriage itself was never expected to fulfil all these needs.

I just posted about this on Facebook, so you may see it twice. And if you don't see it twice it means we should be friends on Facebook.

(4 butts | Sniff a butt)

Monday, May 18th, 2009
7:51 pm - We play Bridge 6 days a week. Join us.
We play Bridge 6 days a week. Join us.

I can't possibly be the only person who saw the above sign and immediately pictured the climax of Empire Strikes Back.

(2 butts | Sniff a butt)

Sunday, May 10th, 2009
11:21 am - "Town votes to make mayor shave off handlebar moustache, untie damsel from railroad tracks"
There was a Fark headline Town votes to make mayor shave off handlebar moustache, untie damsel from railroad tracks. The comments were pretty good, but what's really fun is the links found in the story and comments to the American Moustache Institute and the month-long celebration, Moustache May.

Oh to be able to grow a moustache. I've seriously considering transitioning to male so I could take testosterone and grow a HUGE handlebar moustache. A little like this, only curly.

I'm really tempted to go into debt to attend The World Beard and Moustache Championship in Anchorage later this month.

(8 butts | Sniff a butt)

Saturday, May 9th, 2009
8:08 pm - Cleveland tourism videos
I feel like everyone else on the internet had already seen these, but if you haven't, you should check them out:
Hastily-made Cleveland tourism video
Second attempt

The music has been stuck in my head for like three days, but it's worth it.

Also, for those of you not on Facebook, I laughed at this for like two consecutive days.

(2 butts | Sniff a butt)

Sunday, February 15th, 2009
1:41 pm - Valentine's Day
Michael got me this for Valentine's day. It may have been cliché, but I enjoyed it.

For my birthday, one of my bosses got me a bouquet with a Valentine's balloon in it. Following her instructions, I removed it from the dead bouquet and put it on Michael's half of our desk. I'm thoughtful like that.

(2 butts | Sniff a butt)

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009
6:00 pm - A recent nightmare
A week or so I dreamed I went to some big fancy movie premiere. After the movie, we all went on this big boat. The Hollywood types locked us below deck.

Eventually we escaped and travelled to the luxurious top levels where all the celerities were hanging out. No one seemed to noice we didn't belong. Some of us parked ourselves near the food while the others went to explore the ship and determine what the celebrities' nefarious plot entailed. When we got the secret signal we all headed to the bottom level of the boat to seek refuge from whatever counter-mischief the others had come up with. From the bottom deck, the party's explorers filled us in: they'd discovered there were some kind of monsters on board and we were supposed to be their dinner. The counter-mischief was to rig the ship to blow up, one deck at a time, until the bottom level, which was to remain intact. The monsters were on the second to bottom level. As the decks collapsed, the celebrities wouls eventually fall into the monsters' lair and be eaten. The bottom level where we sought refuge had windows, so if we started to get nervous that perhaps the explosion would not be as precise as planned, we could jump ship.

As the decks started to blow, we could hear the explosions and the screaming. We heard them one by one, punctuated by 2 second intervals. As the explosions got closer, we all got nervous and jumped ship. We swam a good distance out to sea and watched the ship comtinue to blow. As the final deck collapsed, we could hear the monsters wailing, "Alvin! Simon! Theodore!"

Turns out, after they made the live-action Chipmonks movie, they didn't have much use for three giant Chipmonk-human hybrids, so they'd been kept chained to the bottom of this boat and gotten mean. The producers of the movie had to keep bringing them living sacrifices to keep them from rampaging and killing everyone in sight. We were supposed to be the latest round of human sacrifice.

(Sniff a butt)

Monday, January 12th, 2009
6:04 am - fancy internet phone
I took the plunge and decided to get the internet on my cellphone. I love it like some people love their children and little old ladies steriotypically love their cats. LiveJournal does not scale very well, but it obviously works, as evidenced by the fact that I'm managing to type this. Pardon the forthcoming flood of typos - this thing wasn't made for editing text.

In other overdue news, I got a job. In November. And, as natewillsheets pointed out,I neglectedto mention that I moved home to San Diego in August.

My cat Quicksilver died on election night. It was a bad night in many other ways also. At the apex of the drama, I heard bits of John McCain giving what sounded like an acceptance speech. I was pretty happy to have been wrong about that.

Now if you'll excuse me, I ought to head off to work. I wish you all lovely days.

(2 butts | Sniff a butt)

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
12:19 am - Ghost video
A couple months ago Michael's brother was watching one of those cheesy, "OMG! REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL GHOST STORIES" shows. I was sort of half-watching as I passed through the room occasionally.One of the "real ghost stories" it featured was about a family that, while attempting to record their Christmas festivities on a brand new tape, accidentally recorded an honest-to-god ghost. They have all the family members talking about it and psyching you up for like five minutes, then they show you the "ghost video". The mother is sitting at a piano with all 8 children sitting around/on her on that tiny little bench while she plays and sings Jingle Bells (which, by the way, is my personal vision of hell). There's a flicker of static, then more Jingle Bells. OMG GHOST!

The tv show got some poor sap at the FBI to look at it. He caught two black and white frames in the static were some lady in olde western attire is standing on a balcony lifting a rifle over her head. It concluded with a (likely out of context) clip of the FBI agent saying he had no explanation for how the image wound up on the tape. I suspect it was either not as brand new as the family would have had us believe, or there was some kind of mix up at the factory and it had been used before the family even bought it. I don't for an instant believe the ghost may be real.

But suppose for a moment that it is. Presumably the image was created as the ghost passed over or through or in front of the tape recorder, so the image must be of some importance to the ghost, or perhaps in some way represents its essence. It's not a portrait, it's a moment in time. That means that this ghost's identity is defined that by instant or event. For some reason I find that fascinating. I wonder what was happening. Is the ghost the woman, who had perhaps just chased off her no-good husband at the barrel of a rifle? Or perhaps the ghost is the husband, trapped in this earthly existence because he was never able to set things right with his wife. Or it's also possible that the ghost was an actor in a play, and just happened to be thinking about that particular scene in a play at the moment it made the impression on the video tape.

Of course the above paragraph is filled with speculation and my own assumptions about how ghosthood might work. But there's something really interesting to me about the idea that a person can come to be defined by a single event, then they're always that person, stuck in that moment, even years (or centuries) afterwards.

(Sniff a butt)

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008
9:01 pm - This year's santa picture
Santa picture 2008

There are a lot of people are still invisible, but once it's finished developing I'll scan it again and everyone who is missing from this picture will be visible. Sometimes I forget who all was there, so let me know if I can expect to see you in the final version. And if I haven't seen you in a few years send me a good picture of yourself.

Michael spent like 20 minutes circling the parking lot only to give up and return to work. I drew his portrait on the back of Stephen's christmas shopping list while we stood in line. Everyone was impressed by the likeness.

(11 butts | Sniff a butt)

Saturday, December 20th, 2008
1:51 pm - Santa picture 2008
Santa picture 2007? 2006?

Hey San Diegans, Tuesday is the (10th?) annual Santa picture! It's at noon in Fashion Valley, traditionally followed by lunch. I'm expecting it to be pretty low-key, so if you want to come, you should let me know.

(4 butts | Sniff a butt)

Thursday, December 11th, 2008
6:44 pm
I recently read a book about gay pirates. The crux of the argument seems to be that, because situational homosexuality takes place in modern impermeable institutions (such as prison), it must have also been a feature of ships on long voyages. Therefore, people who wanted to engage in homosexual activities probably chose long voyages. From there he makes some leaps. The point he ultimately conveys is that ships are made of pure, condensed homosexuality.

Star Trek Generations opens with a scene wherein the main cast of Next Generation explore their latent homosexual urges.

(4 butts | Sniff a butt)

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008
3:51 am - Versus
I wrote a review on Netflix about Versus, which - as you'll soon see - is the worst movie I've ever seen. I expect my review was a little too strongly worded and will soon be deleted, but I thought it was sort of funny, so I'm preserving it here for the sake of my ego.

If you like a movie heavy on fight scenes and light on plot and special effects, you'll probably enjoy this movie. I thought it was duller than dirt. I don't think it could have bored me more. The fight scenes are stitched together with a little dialog and a vague attempt at some sort of storyline, but really, they're just intermissions between fight sequences. Which is fine if you like fight sequences. Unfortunately, I find them boring, so this movie just went on and on without end. Each scene was more boring than the last. The review pages says its 120 minutes long, but my internal chronometer indicated that it was at least 8 days. It didn't come full-circle to so-bad-its-funny, and yet it wasn't just regular bad either, it was like having someone barf in your eyes while rubbing salt in your wounds, the kind of unpleasant that makes you say to yourself, "I suppose that experience could have been worse, but I'll be damned if I know how". I can't even recount all the ways it was terrible because my subconscious is protecting me by not letting me remember. I don't think I'll ever see a movie so bad by a long shot, because I hope that, if I start to, I'll have sense enough to turn it off within the first 3 days.

(Sniff a butt)

Friday, September 19th, 2008
4:12 pm - Yarrrr
'tis speak like a scurvy pirate day. I woe ye're all observin' it by shoutin' like band 'o pirates. Here be some jokes 'n a translator to get ye started.

(Sniff a butt)

Sunday, September 14th, 2008
3:29 pm
It appears that no one comments on LiveJournal, suggesting that people who comment are generally bad or undesirable people.

(2 butts | Sniff a butt)

Friday, August 15th, 2008
5:13 pm - Peace Through Commerce
Apparently USD offers a class called "Peace Through Commerce." I was looking for details and I found an organization by the same name, which aims "to celebrate the powerful role commerce plays in promoting peace." Then, on the About us page, "Perhaps the most overlooked and yet the most powerful force for catalyzing widespread peace is commerce. International trade, based on the rule of law and secure property rights within nations, encourages a peaceful coincidence of interests."

It's my understanding that we have NAFTA to thank for the proliferation of sweatshops around the globe. While that may be "peaceful" in that it's not armed conflict, I can't say I like it a whole lot better.

(3 butts | Sniff a butt)

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
2:02 pm - Healthnet is full of nimrods
People always say Kaiser is the insurance to avoid, but Michael has Kaiser and they consistently actually pay his medical bills and see him promptly and generally seem to provide good service. All Healthnet has ever done is send me notices about how they're not going to pay for things they previously promised to cover.

(Sniff a butt)

Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
4:24 am - Michael talking in his sleep
I'm up late on the computer as usual while Michael's asleep in bed behind me. Maybe 60 seconds ago he started mumbling. He frequently talks in his sleep but he never annunciates. I've taken to asking him follow up questions in the hope of clarifying or getting him to say more goofy things, usually to no avail. Tonight's exchange began when he suddenly proclaimed something along the lines of, "That didn't take as long as I thought it would." I asked him how long he thought it would take. He thought for a moment and replied that he didn't know.
"What does the word lowercat mean?"
"Lower cat?"
"I thought I said cat. What does cat mean?"
"It refers to a small four-legged animal. Did you not know that?"
"I did, it just makes me feel at home." Laughing, I told him that he's fun. He seemed pleased and replied, "Hopefully not as much fun as that sack of pickles"
"You are even more fun than that sack of pickles"

A couple nights ago, I got into bed with him and he started yelling and asked me who I was. Not sure if he was awake or asleep, I turned on the light and he seemed satisfied. I apologized for startling him and we kind of giggled about it for a few minutes. He got up and walked toward the bathroom. I almost believed he was awake until he stopped half way to the bedroom door and started looking around like he'd lost something he'd wanted to take to the bathroom with him. I asked him about it the next morning had he said he had no recollection of any interaction.

Edit: Last night, as I was getting into bed, Michael started talking again. I think he said something about not wanting some thing. I asked him why not, and he mumbled something that sounded like it was along the lines of, "Because then I'd be an ass" I told him it would not make him an ass, and he replied, "Well then it would make me a regular hat."

(Sniff a butt)

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